Today is a good day to log into Facebook. Over half of my friends on the social networking site have tributes to our US military in their status postings. I wish it was Veterans Day every day -- for our military truly deserves it.
Before I met my husband, I certainly respected our military and was eternally patriotic, but until you've loved a Soldier (Marine, Airman, and Sailor too of course!) it doesn't quite hit home. You have pride for your country, but it isn't personal. The war stories are sad or heroic, but they're not yours and you can't relate. The death tolls are terrible, but they really are just numbers. And then in a moment -- you meet the love of your life and he's a man (or woman) in uniform, or maybe your son or daughter, significant other, or family member enlists/commissions -- and everything changes. It's part of your life. You notice every Service Member in uniform everywhere you go. The American flag brings tears to your eyes. You realize that all those stories are from men and women who are just like you; just like your man or woman. It becomes real.
I have loved my Soldier for over three years now. They have been the hardest yet best three years of my life. I haven't spent a single Christmas with my Soldier. Nor have I been able to give him a hug the morning of his birthday. Just a handful of days following our engagement, he was on a plane headed to Afghanistan for a year. And there were a few weeks upon his pending return that I wasn't sure he'd make it back in time for our wedding day. I have spent countless hours of my life on my knees praying for his safety, and an equal amount of time worrying about him. Such is the life of a military spouse/significant other. It's what we do. We get used the lack of normalcy. But we do it for them. Because we are proud of them. Because without us, they can't do their job, and without them, we can't do ours.
I have spent more time apart from my husband than I have with him. Up until the last few months, I found it easier to argue on the phone. It was what I was used to. It was my sense of normal. At the beginning our marriage, I often wanted to walk outside and call my husband to fight over the phone. Just because I was better at it. I often say, "military relationships are two individuals depending on each other to be independent." It's what you have to do; if you don't, you won't survive.
It takes a special person to love a Service Member. I don't mean that to say that they're hard to love. It's quite the opposite! Once you set your eyes on one, no civilian really has what it takes anymore. They're amazing men and women. But it takes so much out of you. When they're home and they're with you, things are certainly in working order. But once they pack their bags, don their combat gear and hit the skies for the Middle East, I'm telling you life gets rough. By the grace of God you get through, but those are 6-15 months of little sleep, endless prayers, constant worry, and nonstop news-watching.
When you want to call someone, what do you do? You pick up your phone and call. You hop in your car and go see the person, you text them. Whatever it is, you are able to do it. Not when your man is deployed. Those text messages immediately stop. And you can't pick up a phone and call him. For a year, you wait on them to call you. And they do call you when they can, but it's never the same. You have 2-20 minutes to get in two or so weeks of news and updates, and in the end, you spend the whole time saying, "I love you...It's so good to hear your voice," over and over. Any military spouse will tell you that over time, the deployment hardens you. You just start "sucking it up" and "driving on" in order to survive, and it wears you out. You forget what it's like to have a normal relationship. You even forget their facial expressions and what their laugh sounds like. But you hang in there, and you ask for God's grace over you. And you do get by. The days do in fact pass, and you do reach the end, and that handsome man in uniform is once again in your arms...And you wonder to yourself, How on earth did I get through that? A common thing we hear is, "I just don't know how you do it. I couldn't do it." Well, I usually say "God's grace," and while this is true, inside my head I'm thinking, "I don't have a choice. I do it because I have to. Because I love my Soldier and I would rather do this forever than live a day without him."
I think back to the military wives of World War I and II and I admire them so much. They had nothing but letters. They didn't get phone calls. They didn't even know if their men were alive for months at a time. My own grandmother went two years without seeing my grandfather when he was serving in Korea. His daughter was nearly two when he met her for the first time. When I see the Veteran celebrations with the precious men in their Vet caps with all their buttons, they most often have an equally precious woman by their side. I want to salute the veteran and hug his wife, for she too is a hero.
I say this not to draw attention to myself and claim that I've had it hard. I haven't. I haven't had to endure what the men and women of our military has. And they do it for us, for this nation, and for each other. I say this as a reminder that we would not be the free nation we are today without them. Don't forget that. That behind these great men and women are wives and husbands who faithfully support them, wait for them, and hold down the fort while they serve. It's teamwork. So the next time you see that Soldier or Marine walking with his or her spouse, don't forget to thank the spouse for their sacrifice too. I guarantee it'll make their day.
I say this not to draw attention to myself and claim that I've had it hard. I haven't. I haven't had to endure what the men and women of our military has. And they do it for us, for this nation, and for each other. I say this as a reminder that we would not be the free nation we are today without them. Don't forget that. That behind these great men and women are wives and husbands who faithfully support them, wait for them, and hold down the fort while they serve. It's teamwork. So the next time you see that Soldier or Marine walking with his or her spouse, don't forget to thank the spouse for their sacrifice too. I guarantee it'll make their day.
This military life is my life. My husband has filled me with so much pride for our military - past and present. These men and women are the most amazing individuals you'll ever meet. Forget the celebrities, forget the athletes. Our military are the ones that deserve recognition and fan clubs. They have endured hardships that we leave unspoken...They keep going when any of us would drop, they keep their focus and drive, and they do so without a spirit of complaint. When the country is in utter turmoil, our military is the one good thing we have left.
I am so proud to be a part of this life. I wouldn't have it any other way.
In honor of our military:
There's a reason why we have been the leading military force in the world for centuries...and it's not too hard to figure out. I'm eternally grateful for our military and their service and sacrifice. They, and their spouses, are this nation's true heroes.
{Me with my hero!}
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